(no subject)

I cried myself to sleep last night. Cried because I'm starting to miss grandad. Cried because something happened last night before grandad's prayers. It hurts me to see such a thing happening in my family at the time where all of us need each other. It hurts so much that my chest is aching & I don't even have the mood to eat. Somebody save me please!
  • Current Mood
    cold cold
just us

(no subject)

What would you do if one day, you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse lusted over someone & actually satisfied himself with that person?

Yet again, I watched another episode of Growing Up. Can't seem to miss each episode. The messages they send to you are very meaningful & it somehow lingers in your mind & makes you think. Well, today's episode was about the eldest son in the family. Gary. He went through some obstacles in life & started to feel really down. He lost his shop & all. & through this period of time where he was trying to find a new job & all, he got closer to this lady,Tracy, whom he once met at a nightclub before he closed down his shop. To cut things short, as they got closer to one another, feelings started to develop. Though I beg to differ that it was purely lust over on Gary's side. I mean, he has a wife who's pretty, caring & gives him unconditional love. You can say that for a wife, she was the whole package. So moving on, this episode made me really think of how I myself would handle such a situation. I really want to be that strong woman who is able to go through any obstacles in life. :)

Moving on, I miss dearest. *sighs* We're only meeting once a week now or sometimes even once every two weeks. But still, the time spent with him will never ever go to waste. I miss lying down on his lap when he's driving 'coz he will put his arm around me & at the same time drive. Oh god! Can I get married like instantly??? Pretty pretty please. *shows the pathetic face* Hahaha!

Zee gave me this quote by Nicholas Sparks & I shall end this entry with it.

" a guy out there was meant to be the love of your life.
your best friend. your soulmate.
the one you can tell your dreams to.

he'll brush the hair out of your eyes.
send you flowers when you least expect it.
he'll stare at you in the movies, even though he paid $8 to see it.

he'll look at you in the eyes & tell you
'you are the most beautiful girl in the world.

& for the first time in your life, you'll believe it."

- Nicholas Sparks

I'm glad I found mine though he neither send me flowers nor look at me in the movies, he's still the one I can depend on when life is at it's worst. :)

The day his fever went up to 39degrees & I was taking care of him. Had nothing to do so just lay next to him & took this picture. Loving it!

*the rest are still unwritten*

  • Current Mood
    grateful grateful
just us

(no subject)

Ok. So, I'm down with flu, cough & fever. Been feeling really weak this few days. All I do is just sleep.
That was a random start I know. Hahahaha.

I watched an episode of "Growing Up" just now. You know the one that's been on replay at 3pm on ch5 on weekdays. I think you should be getting it by now. So, I watched it, & the episode's about the youngest one in the family not being given enough since she was young. Well, it got me thinking on how many people think of it that way everytime things don't go as they want. & Most find it easiest to blame it on their parents for their failure. Can you imagine how unfair it is like to our parents? Especially since they've sacrificed so much since the birth of us. I'll never put the blame on them. That's for sure.

That aside, Liverpool won against Manchester United last weekend. :)) Dearest & me can't be more than happier though he didn't get to watch due to work. Like we're ubber happy. I miss spending time with dearest like before. Closed ones should know why we've not been spending much time together. I know, I know. Sacrifices now, happiness later. Oh wells, hopefully everything goes as planned. :))

Somehow this quote by Albert Einstein tickles my funny bones. It sounds too cute. Einstein, I didn't know you were such a good joker. Come on, what other sides of you are you keeping from us? Tell us quick!

I sound psychotic I know. Blame it on the flu. :P

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love"

Whoever found it funny say "aye!". If not, you seriously have to go check on your funny bone. Sense-less humour? Or humour-less sense? Go figure!

I miss dearest! Period! That totally explains why my post today is a mess & out of point. Hug me someone! Let me feel some love! ;p

Dearest, you rock my socks!


*the rest are still unwritten*

  • Current Mood
    blah blah

(no subject)

Someone I used to date came back. Dearest knows about it.

I just don't understand that you regret doing everything to me after so long. Now then you realise that those things you did hurt me, that was why I moved on. Moved on with my life & learned to forget you. No matter how much heartache you caused me, I accepted it & waited but you never did change. I gave up, gave up knowing that it will take years for you to change. & indeed I was right. Right from the very start. It took 4 years before you really changed.

Now, after 4 years of me being with that other someone you come back. Promising me good things. Saying that you've changed for the better & regretting what's left of yesterday. How am I supposed to react to all these when my heart is for someone else already? I never wanted to lose you before but you brought it upon yourself. Was it my fault that I did not wait? I don't think so. I'm already sick & tired of waiting. Waiting like there's tomorrow.

Indeed, you have changed. When we met, I never did believed that you will change to what you are right now. Looking hotter than before too. But it's really too bad that my heart belongs to that other someone right now. He has been there for me through thicks & thins. He never did complain about anything. He accepted me for what I am & respected my every decision.

You text me saying:
" I miss those days. How I wish we can rekindle those times."

Sometimes out of nowhere, text me saying:
" I miss you! "

Hah! Now you know how I felt before when I always wanted you to be there. Who was I before to you anyways, I was only the girl who you looked upon as the "spare tyre" while you were having fun back then clubbing, drinking, gambling & whatsoever-nots. You thought before that money was everything & the reason why I wanted you was money. Damn wrong I tell you! Damn wrong!

I am indeed grateful to His Almighty for showing you through the right path & being who you are now. I hope that you will remain like that & never go back to your old ways.

Like what I told u before:
" If you love that someone, let her go. For if you & her are meant to be together then fate shall bring you together. There is no point in forcing your way through it. Believe in Him, that's all you can do. "

Remember this, & if someone does cross your path & you know she is the one for you, move on, for I shall be happy for you. Let us now just stay as friends & nothing more scandalous.

I shall always be there throughout this friendship of ours.

For now, I shall have my heart for noone else but dearest. I shall always be there for him when he needs me just like how he has been for me. For to him is  where my heart belongs.

*the rest are still unwritten*

  • Current Mood
    grateful grateful

(no subject)

How do I get the motivation to move on with my life without feeling like a failure?

I'm hurt at times by the way the both of you put me down & make it seem like I've done nothing but wasted my life. But one thing for sure that you both don't know of is that the sacrifices I've made is for the whole family, not for myself. I've at times felt like an outcast being in my own home. While both of you dote on the other two, I'm left all alone to watch your sweet-nothings with them but deep inside I will always tell myself that you both dote on me in a different way, just to console myself & make it seem like there's nothing.

How does it feel when at times you do all the best that you can at home to make sure when all of you come home everything is ready for but when you are tired & had a bad day at work, you take it out in me? Is it fair in my part? Am I doll? Don't I have any feelings? Yet again, I don't complain. I'll just look down, walk away & cry because disobedience has never been my forte. I've never believed in being rude towards my elders. But how long more? How long more should I just keep silent? Keep silent & watch again & again the both of you putting me down? Ever since I lost my job, I never felt that I have the support of the both of you. Everyday you come back with nothing but un-motivational wors aimed towards me. It may be easy for the both of you to just say it but it holds a deep impact on me. I've never asked for anything except love & fairness from the both of you. But I'm 22 for heaven's sake & I deserve to have some time out with my friends.If not everyday, once a week at least. Is it too much to ask? Yet by just going out once a week you say that I should cut down on my outings. How much more? & I've never asked for any money from the both of you when I want to go out. I find means & ways so that I can afford what I want.

I feel better now that I've let it all out.  I have never once hated the both of you but all I want is for the both of you to take the time & think at times of how I feel as a daughter. Because it isn't any fun being in my shoes.

*the rest are still unwritten*

  • Current Music
    Already Gone-Kelly Clarkson

(no subject)

As I sit down listening to your songs,
I've realised that there was never once in my life that I didn't listen to any of it.
In fact, I grew up with it.
I grew up listening to a talented singer who touched many lives in a million kind of ways.
There was never once in my life that I thought you as "Wacko Jacko".
I never trusted the media despite all the allegations of your child molestation.
Your dream was all of our dreams.
A dream to never grow up.
A dream to live life happily as a Disney character.
I've never felt this kind of loss from someone in the music industry.
I cried when the news of your passing came on air.
I just couldn't believe that a man with so much love and respect was "Gone too Soon".
You will always be remembered MJ.
May Allah always be with you.
"You are not alone"

Picture courtesy of Getty Images.

*the rest are still unwritten*

  • Current Mood
    sympathetic sympathetic

(no subject)

May all of them rest in peace.

Michael Jackson
A legend to be remembered. The 'King of Pop'.
Died of cardiac arrest in UCLA Medical Centre.

Farah Fawcett
The star of the first Charlie's Angels
Has been battling cancer. 
Sadly, her son Redmond O'Neal only got to speak to her on the phone before her last breath.
Redmond O'Neal was arrested & is currently in jail for drug offences.

& also to the innocent lives of Iran.
Violence is never the solution to everything.

*the rest are still unwritten*

  • Current Mood
    grateful grateful

(no subject)

Seriously, what was Miley even thinking when she broke off with Justin Gaston! 
Look at how hot he is!

I would so not dump someone like him! He is sizzling hot I tell u!
Oh wells. I'm here ok Justin? Always will be. Hahaha...

Dearest is so going to kill me if he reads this. I love u more k dearest? You know that!
You are way much more hotter! *sizzles*

*the rest are still unwritten*

  • Current Mood
    excited excited

(no subject)

For now, I feel like a total loser & failure who deserves nothing else but to die a painful death. Being rejected in job applications has never been a thing I've look forward to. Take this one for example:

Dear Dayana Shahirah Bte Ridwan,

Application Reference number: EY/09/06/07528
Job Title: Cabin Crew
Department: Crew Management

Thank you for your application for the above position with Etihad Airways.

I am sorry to say that we will not proceeding with your application on this occasion.

Thank you for your interest in Etihad Airways and please accept our best wishes for your future success.

Should this position become available after six months, you are welcome to apply again.

Alternatively, visit our careers website at http://careers.etihadairways.com/ehire to see what other positions are currently available.

Once again, many thanks for your interest in Etihad Airways.

Cabin Crew Recruitment team
Etihad Airways
Abu Dhabi

Note: This is a system generated email. Do not reply to this mail. Please write to careers@etihad.ae for any other assistance.
& I've sent umpteen other job applications & have yet to get a reply from either one of them. It sucks.

*the rest are still unwritten*

  • Current Mood
    cranky cranky